10 Fun ways to develop Eye contact in children with ASD

Among many other symptoms, "Lack of eye contact" is a well-known symptom of autism. People with autism are less likely to look directly at another person's eyes, while conversating. 

Why is eye contact an important social skill?

• When you look a person in the eye, it represents your confidence in your point of view. One of the most powerful means of communicating confidence and conviction is sustained focused eye contact.

• While you make eye contact while conversating, it communicates you are intrested in the conversation & are paying attention.

• We need to maintain eye contact in order to pick up and respond to important social cues from other people. And of course, a failure to make eye contact can be misconstrued by others as disinterest or inattention.

Reasons for lack of eye contact in children with autism

➤In children with autism, making eye contact while talking can cause an uncomfortable sensation the individual feels. Tending to look away while talking can decrease the unpleasing excessive arousal that is caused by this part of the brain.

➤Individuals with autism often find it difficult to focus both on spoken language and on another person's eyes at the same time

➤There are many books and articles written by adults with autism who describe that they feel quite stressed & overwhelmed when well-meaning parents and teachers tried to force them to make eye contact during conversations. In many cases, they described that they were being further distracted from the conversation because of this.

➤These wonderful individuals have also stated that – it was much easier for them to engage & focus on conversations when others allowed them to communicate in a more comfortable manner (without eye contact).

Now, the question is, should we encourage eye contact in children with autism or not?

The answer is, it depends...

👉 If giving eye contact is very stressful for your child & he pays less attention to you when you ask him to look into your eyes, it is better if he just listens & conversates without being forced to look you in the eye.

👉It will also be helpful to look for other alternative ways for him to indicate to others that he is interested and paying attention to them.

For example, you might explain the importance of indicating his interest in some nonverbal way and then offer some of these options:

• Suggest that your child show his interest by fully facing the person and staying within a conversational distance. This includes working on any tendency to wander away in the middle of a conversation.

• Help your child learn some socially appropriate comments that he can use to indicate his attention. For example: saying “yes” or “okay” or “hmm-hmm" or even "nodding his head.” It’s important to help him understand that these little comments/gestures should come when the other person pauses – not while they are speaking. The two of you can practice the timing together.

At the same time, we’ve seen that making eye contact clearly improves attentiveness for many children who have autism. 

👉If you notice that your child doesn’t pay attention unless he’s making eye contact, then encouraging this skill may be the appropriate choice.

Activities & games to promote Eye contact 

1} Pause before you give

Whenever your child asks you for something he needs (can be a toy, can be food, can be anything), don't give him immediately. Pause ! He will look at you to make sure you have heard & are giving him the object.

When he looks at you, give positive reinforcement by saying- "nice looking", or "very good you looked !", then give him the object he has asked for.

➧ This technique works well for both verbal & nonverbal kids. Non-verbal kids might ask for an object by pointing or pulling your hands towards the object they need. You can encourage eye contact using the above technique.

2} Put cream/lotion/powder on mama's face

This is a simple activity that encourages eye contact in children.

Sit opposite to your child. Give him some cream/powder & ask him to- "put on mama's forehead", "put on mama's nose", put on mama's cheeks", "put on mama's neck", etc. Make funny faces & be playful.

➧ If your child hesitates for this activity because it's overwhelming for him, you can start by using a doll first.

Ask your child to "put cream on the doll's head", "put cream on the doll's cheeks", etc. Then, gradually he can put cream on "mama's face".

3} Put "Bindis", or "stickers" on mama's face & remove them

This game is similar to the above game except you can use colorful stickers or bindis as a variant to cream. It will be more interesting to your child & help with sustained attention to mama's face.

4} Blowing bubbles infront of your child's face

Children love bubbles. You can stand infront of your child & blow bubbles. They will be fascinated. Encourage them to follow the bubbles & pop them.

Then, blow the bubbles slowly infront of your child's face.

He will be intrested to watch the bubble grow into a big one & give you eye contact.

5} Torchlight in a dark room

Use a torch to focus on the walls in a dark room. The child will definitely look at the small source of light. Keep moving the light. The child will track it.

Slowly bring the light to your face, focusing on your face. When your child looks at you, say-"nice looking", or "very good", or you can make funny faces so that the child will enjoy looking at your face & want to do it more.

Some more games/activities that encourage eye contact:

➤Playing Catch & throw ball 

You can stand or kneel opposite to your child from a small distance & be at his face level. Make sure child is standing or Kneeling at one place while you throw the ball at him.

➤Blowing candles sitting face to face with your child

➤Threading beads 

Beads can be given to the child from different directions, to catch his attention & at his face level so that he looks at you while taking it.

➤Playing peek a boo

➤Giving High fives & High tens

 Giving high fives & high tens encourages eye contact.

Use it as a reinforcement whenever the child looks at you while doing any of the above games

➧ Ask your child to look at your hands while giving high five/high ten.

Some Useful Tips while practicing any of the above games/methods

👉 Give positive reinforcements like "claps", or "high five", or telling "very good, you are looking at me".

Every time he gives eye contact in any of the above games. 

Be consistent with giving reinforcements.

Positive reinforcements can work magically to teach a child any skill faster.😄😄😄

👉 Be consistent with one method for 3-4 days & see if your child is giving you eye contact or not. If not, try another method.

👉 Be regular to practice a method several times a day in the initial stages. Be playful & have fun while practicing these games.

👉 Make sure to practice games that your child takes an interest in participating. 

Eventually, your child will definitely start giving better eye contact.👍👍😊😊

Lastly, I would say that the above methods are easy, fun, & will definitely bring great results if practiced consistently!

If one method doesn't work for you, you can always try another method. Since you are the one who knows your child the best! 

Enjoy reading!

Happy parenting to all my readers.😃😃😃

About the writer :-

The writer’s name is Abhipsa Parida. She is an occupational therapist specialised in pediatrics and has been handling kids with special needs since 6 years. She is quite experienced and skillful in observation, assessment and planning intervention for kids with special needs. She uses evidence based practice and is very creative and updated in her approach while handling kids with special needs. She has her own clinic in Bhubaneswar and has handled many kids of different age groups with varying needs.

If you have any queries, you can mail them at abhipsaot21@gmail.